So, with that in mind, this computer manual is the first in the world which is engineered specifically NOT TO BE READ! That's right. Nothing contained in this document is in any way useful, but then as an inexperienced user you will know that already.
Got a question about anything even remotely related to computers? Don't read this manual! Just ask your techie friend. Don't worry about what brand of computer or what software he uses (by the way, you're quite right in thinking that only men know about computers)- there is, after all, only one type of techie and they all do the same job and they know everything about every computer and program ever created (all computers and programs are the same anyway).
A techie won't mind if you ask him technical questions at any time, day or night. In fact, when he has finished work and is relaxing down the pub, that is an ideal time to catch him. Let's say he invites you round to his house to watch some videos- well that's another superb opportunity to bring up that wordprocessing problem you had!
Techies are paid a flat rate by the government and are thus available for consultation at any time and place. They spend several years in college learning the arcane secrets of computing, not to improve their personal work-related skills, but simply to help out complete strangers with their everyday computing tasks- for free! Then, to keep your knowledge up-to-date, they spend hours every week reading manuals for you! You've got it- that's why you don't need to read any computer manuals, not even this one- because someone else will have done all the hard work. You just sit back, relax and fire a few questions at him. Whatever you do, don't offer to pay for his time and experience- he will find this morally offensive.
Another important point to understand is that all computer questions can be answered in just two short sentences. So you don't need to have learned about one topic before you can begin to understand another topic (an obviously silly state of affairs- it would require some effort on your part). If your techie friend starts mumbling on about some deeply uninteresting technical concept, just let your eyes glaze over after the first two sentences- he is, after all,